I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
