I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
