My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize