Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
