It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
