okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
