In the future we'll all be gay
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
