Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
