i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
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