Non-Jews are for practice
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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