its not stalking. its research.
Just cropdusted the office
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
