TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
