Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
