i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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