I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
