I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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