I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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