lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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