I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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