I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
