I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
