I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
