just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
