My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
