that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize