Yo dont text me then not text me
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
