Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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