I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
