Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
