You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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