you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
