Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
