The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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