ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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