ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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