i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
