sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
