I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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