My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
