who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
