Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
