did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
