Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize