I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
