okay pat passed out under dana's car
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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