I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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