i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
