Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
