It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
