Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
