i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
