I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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