The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize