are you still at the devil's house?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
