is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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