Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
