I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
