youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
