I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize