i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
