I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
