He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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