If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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